Dear People Who Don't Use a Leash,

I find it strange that you don't mind if your dog gets caught between my legs like a thick branch in a dull loppers.  Especially since that's what almost happens every time I'm out running.

You might think your dog is a canine Stephen Hawking, but the truth is dogs are unpredictable.  So while you and I can pass each other at high rates of speed on a narrow trail with almost no risk of a crash, the same can not be said for dogs.

You know how you meet someone head-on in a doorway sometimes, and both you and the other person dodge back and forth to avoid colliding, but you only end up mirroring each other?  Well, that's what it's like every time I pass your dog, only I'm running and your dog is trying to sniff my shorts.  Without exception, either your dog ends up between my legs, tripping me and hurting your dog, or I end up just tripping and hurting myself.  I shudder to think if were a cyclist.

And then comes the pompous smile and the barely-audible "sorry."  Do you have any conception of how insincere that seems?  Like after my neighbor drove his skid-loader across my lawn, and then admitted he "probably should have thought about that" beforehand.  Or when that smoker threw his butt on the ground next to the ash can, then thanked me after I picked it up for him.  Unforgettable, really.

Oh, I know, your dog "has never bitten anyone," which may be perfectly true, but as they say in the investing world: past performance does not guarantee future results.  And from my experience, even a dog that makes Eeyore look like a monkey on uppers is bound to venture at least a nip when it feels threatened.  And I'm going to go out on a pretty sturdy-looking limb here and say getting kicked in the side and having a 180-lbs human fall on it is enough to make a dog feel threatened.

More bizarre than your disregard for my safety, is your disregard for your dog's safety.  Why would you want your dog to get hurt?  Don't you treat your dog like it's your own offspring, referring to yourself as its parent and spending thousands of dollars a year on doggy health insurance?  Don't you love your dog?

And you know what else?  While your dog was off nosing through the underbrush, and you and your walking partner were complaining that the shoe salesmen at Nordstrom don't wear ties anymore, your dog left a nice, steaming pile of putrescence for someone to enjoy later.  You walked right past it, actually, but since you didn't see your dog do it, why should you pick it up?  I realize poo is bio-degradable, but so are banana peels, and you don't see the rest of us throwing those all over the trail.  And those don't even stink.

There is one other thing, which may not interest you, but I consider it important.  It's illegal for you to let your dog off the leash.  Just thought I'd mention that.  Seeing as how you care very little about the way your actions affect others, maybe you care how they might affect you.